A Breath of Life

Hello Strangers, 

Sometimes, a person finds themself in a place they don’t want to be. There could be any number of reasons why they ended up there, but it is a deeply uncomfortable thing. And it will shape them. Maybe it was a job, a sin, a hiding spot, maybe any one or all of those things of those things and an opportunity. But whatever the reason, they wake up in the morning and look at the edges of their world, and they feel trapped. 

That’s happened to me many mornings in the place I am now, and usually, I’m able to look past it. I’ll find beauty in the sunlight and trees, or the stream behind my house, or even the insects that buzz around my feet when I walk through the wildflowers on my way to the compost heap. I bake, or write, or paint, or pray, or in a moment of exhaustion and defeat, collapse in a heap to watch a beloved tv show. But last week new details emerged about an animal cruelty case that we’d been following, (my family knows the animal) and I couldn’t just ‘get past it’ like I usually do. This had to do with people we know. And it’s just one case, there are thousands like it in this area. I wanted so desperately to run away but a stone sank in the pit of my stomach when I realized just how far I’d have to run to truly get away from this. 

Sunday came around, and we didn’t go to church. And I felt guilty, but on this particular occasion I was relieved; my heart wasn’t right. My father suggested going to the mountains where there’s national forest and parklands. There’s this travel stop on the way that has the best sandwiches; ham and bologna clubs with fresh veggies, pickles and mayo…Ice cold. I’d been craving those sandwiches for a month. It was the perfect distraction. I only wish we could have stayed longer, because it was a gift from God. 

The roads began to wind, and the country was different from what we usually see. Brighter and cleaner. One of the park sites had a long stone stairway which led to shelves on a beach. The water was teal and rushes of white water burst forward in swells. And it was cool out, but it smelled like spring. I felt like I was able to breathe.

Earlier that week, I’d stumbled across Psalm 19, the first half of which is dedicated to describing how nature itself praises God. I’d wanted to write a post on the benefits of being in nature that week and I was inspired by a speech my little sister wrote. But every time I tried to write it, I got blocked. Nothing came out right and I was frustrated. Then that horrible thing happened, and I just felt angry and defeated. That defeat that so often comes with this place. But all along, God had the perfect moment lined up to show me His hand in the situation, and to provide relief and joy. And in that moment, on that day, there was absolutely no denying that that had been His plan. I’ve felt distant from Him, and like He was distant from me. But here was a gift I didn’t deserve, given to me when I was steeped in darkness, and which lifted so much weight and sorrow off of my shoulders. That’s who God is, and that’s how nature refreshes the soul. Because He made it. 

I came home and the world was still dark. The problems were still there. And I still feel like I’m looking at the borders of my whole world. But I’ve got a light I often forget about, and as for the edges of the world? That’s just a feeling, and it will pass as all feelings do. Thank God for the reminder that I have things to do. That we have things to do. This life is not hopeless; you get a breath of fresh air and get moving. 

1 The heavens tell of the glory of God;
And their expanse declares the work of His hands.
2 Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
4 Their line has gone out into all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
5 Which is like a groom coming out of his chamber;
It rejoices like a strong person to run his course.
6 Its rising is from one end of the heavens,
And its circuit to the other end of them;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat. – Psalm 19:1-6

This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD. – Ezekiel 37:5-6

And thank You, Lord, for all You’ve done.

All love,

–Mabel