Hello Strangers,
For many years now, I have dreamed of my death.
Now, I know that sounds dark, but listen. My sister and I used to have a game we’d play. We’d talk about how we wanted our bodies to be processed when we die. She, I believe, wanted to be floated in a pool filled with Grape Fanta. I think I wanted to be coated in honey? I’m not entirely sure, but I do remember how I wanted to be buried; In a glass casket, inside a mausoleum with a skylight. I’m not sure death scared me at that point, but being buried terrified me.
Anyhow, it was a hilarious little game we played to amuse ourselves. We laughed because everything we suggested was utterly preposterous.
“Do you know what would happen if we submerged a body in Fanta?”
“How would we even get a whole swimming pool of Fanta?”
“Can you imagine how expensive that would be?”
“Let’s do it.”
But somewhere along the line, I began thinking of my actual death. Would I like to die doing something noble? Is it really best to die in one’s sleep? What would be the most pleasant?
I thought about dying as an old woman surrounded by people at a family picnic, but decided that those usually happen during the summer in the middle of the day and it would be too hot and uncomfortable. Not only that, but there are lots of children at those kinds of things, and I didn’t want to scare my tiny grandchildren and great nieces and nephews; that would just be mean. But still! I wanted to die outside. That much I was sure of. I wanted to die surrounded by people. That much I was sure of. I couldn’t die in the speckled light of the beautiful forest, because again, I could only imagine being alone there, and I didn’t want to be alone. And then who would find me? No, it simply wouldn’t do.
And that’s when I thought of it. My perfect death…
Picture this:
I am an old woman, and it’s midmorning in June. I am out garage sailing with my daughter and nieces—or great nieces—one or the other. We’ve had a lovely, productive morning. We’ve bought lemonade and donuts from a child’s stand. My companions have each bargained for something they wanted; a sweater, a china set, a book, and we’ve come to a nice house with a large oak tree in the yard. I remark that it must be a hundred years old, and I’ve also been looking for a recliner. Lo and behold, this house has one for sale. As everyone peruses, I shuffle over to rock in the chair. Those sun speckles hit my face through the shade of the oak tree. A cool breeze passes over me. I die.
I have effectively ruined the garage sale for everyone else. No one wants the haunted chair, (it’s not haunted, I’m in heaven, but I left that thought for them.) My family is forced to buy the chair, which they scowl at because they knew this was my design. An ambulance is called, there’s all this commotion…But not for me. I got to die surrounded by people I love, doing something I love, having one final bask in the sun. And you know what, it’s not even a bad memory in anyone’s mind. In the end, that death was a very beautiful thing.
I died laughing. Think about that.
–Mabel
To All My Strangers 