To Build a Home

Hello, Strangers.

There are so many different types of homes in the world. Some people have houses, some people have gardens, some people have igloos, yurts, huts, castles, palaces, apartment buildings… Home can be anywhere, it can represent any number of things. For some it’s family, for some it’s a place, for some an aspiration. And then there are people who don’t really know where they fit in.

Growing up, I lived in ten different houses, each different than the last. We lived in each corner of the United States, in different styles and sizes of housing, with different people and different dogs. Every place we went, my mother built something that looked like a magazine spread. She found furniture by the side of the road and painted it, found tables and shelves at thrift stores, she painted walls and lampshades and has created a collection of rugs, and everywhere we went, there our things were, rearranged, painted, or deconstructed, in a comfortable living space.

The other night I laid in bed staring at the wall in the dark. It had been a terrible day (week, actually), and I was trying to cheer myself up. I ended up building my dream home, but nothing was quite right. I decided to ask my friends what they thought were the essential components to making a house more homey. These are some of the things they said:

“Usually it’s something about the kitchen, like a natural light source.” –Lizzy Boyd

“Comfy furniture and good paint colors. And dogs…Ambient lighting that doesn’t come from the ceiling.” –Mckenzie Vanderbilt

“I think lots of light.” –Jessica Wayne

“For me, it’s more about people. Photos of family and friends and whatnot.” –Abby Barker

“Warm light. Well placed light just makes a house feel like a home. And also lots of blankets; they should have a place to go when you’re done with them, but you should have a bunch. And reading lights.” –Bree Kemplar

“Friends. Candles. Soft Blankets.” –Oóna Winters

“Have throw blankets!” –Nadia Martins

And my personal favorite from all those collected; when I asked him this question, he simply answered, ‘a table.’ I asked him to elaborate further, and he gave me this answer:

“It’s a center, so to speak. A place to eat, to sit with others, to talk, to make crafts, to play games, to invite friends to. On the ISS in space, where nothing can be set down because gravity will not hold it down, there is a table. Food cannot be placed on it, things cannot be set on it, you cannot even sit at it, but it is there. Because it was deemed necessary. Because the astronauts needed somewhere on their station to meet up for important things.” –Gavin Bolden 

I wasn’t expecting that. How could I? And yet, in two words, Gavin defined home better than any other person I’ve ever met. In all of my fantasies, I noticed the dim glow of light in the window, cast by the bulb above the stove, but how many times did I miss the table I’d set? That is always where I’ve taken guests. I put the steaming food in the corner nook and pulled out the chairs so we could sit there in silence. All this time I thought about the kettle, stove, glow, the windows, and doors.

But all of those are worth less without the table.

–Mabel